


A baby doesn't have to spawn from your own essence.

by silver_mayo



Category: Gintama
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff without Plot, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of other Gintama characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 18:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20030059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_mayo/pseuds/silver_mayo
Summary: Where Hijikata Toshirou had a dream and they talked about having a family.





	A baby doesn't have to spawn from your own essence.

Hijikata was awakened by the weirdest dream he has ever gotten in a very long time. The dream was not exactly horrifying nor was it the most wonderful dream ever, it was something that bordered on the in-between of those two. He put a hand on his stomach, somehow expecting it to grow triple the normal size and having the skin there move by itself. He waited, just for the sake of it, but as it should be, nothing happened.

The day went on, as usual, he went on patrol with Sougo, walking down the streets and keep an eye out for any suspicious activities of the joui. Instead, his eyes seemed to catch interest in a particular type of group of which what others would point out as families.

When he looked to his side, Sougo has already disappeared from his side. He looked around, looking to see if he has already passed a certain shop that Sougo would frequent to take a nap. They already did, so he sighed to himself, turning on the comms.

“Sougo, when I find you, and I will find you, prepare to commit seppuku,” he threatened with a low voice, two fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Hmm…? Hijikata-san, you were the one zoning out during patrol, that’s why you did not see that I need to catch a bad guy sneaking around under your nose. Don’t you see it? I am very busy doing work. You need to prepare to be replaced Hijikata-san,” he lied with his usual monotonous voice while clearly chewing on something.

“I was not zoning out! There is no bad guy sneaking around under my nose unless you are referring to yourself you brat.”

“Hmmm..?? Did you say something Hijikata-san? Are you about to die? Oh, I can’t hear you, what is it you say??” Sougo abruptly cut off the comms, pissing off Hijikata even more.

Hijikata sighed to himself, again, then decided to finish the patrol by himself before he headed back to the usual dango shop.

It didn’t take that much longer to finish his rounds, and when he went back to the dango shop, he found somebody else instead. Hijikata was still a distance away when he saw the familiar silver perm, legs crossed under the shade eating his dango stick. His mind graciously reminded him of the dream he had that morning, one that felt so real that he woke up expecting it to happen. It unnerved him that it got him flustered all by himself. Although, there was also the feeling of guilt that came out of nowhere.

It caught him off guard, that when those rust-colored eyes met his, he looked away and proceeded to leave the place.

Hijikata considered doing a few more rounds just for the hell of it, to calm his nerves.

He went to the usual park he knew had a vending machine that sold his favorite cigarette brand, bought a pack, lit a stick, inhaled a mouthful of smoke into his lungs. He watched the children playing in the playground, his eyes wandered to a family sitting on a bench, the mother feeding the baby, the father was entertaining his few other children with bubbles. Their laugh was cheerful and their faces bright. He had to sit down himself, so he found a bench, sat and leaned back, eyes closed.

There was a presence, the faint sweet smell that came with it brought weight to it. Someone sat beside him, a breath escaped them. Hijikata opened his eyes, then glanced to the side. They sat in silence, watching the small family opposite of them.

“How is it feeling using people’s taxes to buy cigarettes and killing yourself?”

“You don’t even pay taxes, diabetic perm,”

“My natural perm has got nothing on you,”

“If it doesn’t why do you sound so offended?”

“I am not, I am just saying my sugary affliction has got nothing to do with my naturally wavy hair.”

Hijikata decided not to reply, he just scoffed and fell silent again.

“Oi, why are you not saying anything? Admitting that Gin-san’s hair is irresistible? I knew no one is able to resist Gin-san’s alluring charm,”

“You’re so sure about that?” Hijikata chuckled lightly, exhaling a trail of smoke.

Gintoki paused.

“You’re being weird. Oi, where is the mayora that I know? Don’t agree with me! This is creepy! Why are you not replying with your lame comebacks? Hijikata-kunnn??? Did you inhale drugs?”

“Who has the lame comebacks? I didn’t take any drugs you piece of shit.”

“Did mayonnaise finally flood your brain or what? You’re not being fun today, Oogushi-kun. What are you looking at anyway? Oh god, are you secretly a pedo? That’s why you’re here? Spying on kids like a pervert? Oh my god, mayonnaise really did poison your brain,”

“What the hell are you saying sugar freak!? Who are you calling a pedo!? I am not the one taking in kids illegally, an underage girl nevertheless, under my care to sleep in the goddamn closet! Who is the sick fuck here!? I could arrest you for that, you know. Unless you present legal papers.”

“Hey! It wasn’t my fault the kid followed me back to my house and demand me to feed her bottomless pit! In any case, I took in a goddamn alien monster! I already told her to go back home to her father but she made herself comfy, why am I at fault!? If I let her go, who the hell knows where the hell would she end up with? You should be glad I took her in that she became the girl she is today!”

“You just called her an alien monster with a bottomless pit, then you say you took care of her to become the girl she is today? Make up your damn mind.” Hijikata said without bite.

It took Gintoki by surprise. He was not able to reply when he saw the small smile Hijikata hid behind his palm when he lit another stick of his cigarette. Gintoki did not miss the little glint of fondness in his usual cold steel cobalt eyes. He couldn’t help but wonder what was it the demon vice-commander has in mind that made him have such a soft expression on his face.

Hijikata exhaled another chain of smoke to the air, he was quiet for a bit before speaking up again. He was thinking of something. He was thinking about the dream he had the night before.

He had been pregnant with a baby. It had been so damn real, that when he woke up he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Hijikata remembered how everyone was crying, their eyes were just teary with happiness. Especially Gintoki. The look on his face was something he never wanted to forget. Hijikata had seen that look of Gintoki, when he was enjoying his parfait. Imagine that, but this one multiplied that.

The happiness he saw on Gintoki’s usual dead fish eyes, those bored face lit up like the biggest Christmas tree in town. Elation just seeped through every pore, he had Hijikata in his arms in disbelief, he was utterly speechless and he did not stop kissing Hijikata all over his face. He was sobbing too, repeating the same words over and over again.

Gintoki had his palm over Hijikata’s tummy, another holding him by the waist as he listened for any movement he might hear. Hijikata would say he was delusional, no naked ear would be able to hear anything, but he did not want to say anything, especially when Gintoki looked like that.

During the nights Gintoki would sit close to his stomach, and singing off-key some lullabies that somehow lull Hijikata himself to sleep. He would occasionally scold Hijikata if he were to do anything reckless. China and glasses would also join on the bandwagon to keep an eye on him, making sure he did not overwork himself.

After the baby was born, Hijikata was not able to see their child's face, but he remembered how he had woken up to see Gintoki asleep on the chair beside his bed with the baby in hands.

Waking up after having such a vivid dream, the high did not last long. Immediately, he felt his heart emptied a hole, chest heavy. They can’t have that, can they? He was just a man.

He was just a man.

During his patrol, he thought of the possibility. He thought about the silver perm, considered his vague, ambiguous past. They both have adopted themselves into a weird circle of people that they have at the moment, call them family. Unrelated without blood, the bond was stronger than anything else, they both would do anything in their power, anything within reach of their swords to protect those precious to them.

Though, despite that, Hijikata couldn’t help but consider someone of their own flesh and blood. Especially for someone who has never known what that would feel like.

...Thus, in some sickening way, Hijikata had to hold himself back to not push away others whenever he felt unworthy. Undeserving.

Hijikata lamented their relationship these past years, they had never brought up anything close to being serious. They banter back and forth, sure, sometimes with fists and sometimes with their lips, of which can also mean both ways. They had their pillow talks, those were mostly sweet nothings, unspoken promises, reassuring words when nightmares become unbearable.

They had their fair share of confessions when death was too close on the doorstep but didn’t stay long enough to knock and claim their lives.

Still, he cannot give what Gintoki couldn’t have. He didn’t know where were these thoughts came from, he had never had these kinds of thoughts, this uncertainty.. this insecurity.

He heaved a breath, aware of his deep frown that he willed it to relax.

“Are you sure..” he spoke like it was a statement rather than a question.

“Hm? Sure of what?”

Hijikata hesitated a bit. “Being with me.” He said, voice almost above a whisper.

Gintoki observed him from the side, then he leaned back, shoving his hand under his yukata to scratch on his stomach. “Never doubted even for a second. Even when you are licking the last streak of mayo on your bowl.” He answered casually, picking his nose.

“...I- I can’t give you that, though.” Hijikata’s voice was almost a mutter, it was like he was talking to himself. His eyes were transfixed on something in front of them as a light blush start to appear on his cheeks.

“Hm?”

Gintoki gaze followed to where Hijikata was so intent on watching, the same small family that had been there since he got here, the mother holding the baby in her arms with a fond smile adorning her delicate features, the father and his few kids playing peek-a-boo with silly faces, trying to make the baby laugh. Their attempts weren’t a failure, their shared laugh was bright and warm, much like the sun at the moment. They seem like a normal, happy family. Maybe they were.

Something clicked in Gintoki’s head.

“You.. you want to give me a baby? You actually think about having a baby with me? Snotty brat that won’t stop crying? Shitting everywhere like nobody’s business? Not sleeping when everybody else is sleeping?? Not paying rent and doesn’t give any contribution to society? You want a tiny monkey with me??” he tried, seriously considering it despite the teasing tone in his voice.

Hijikata tried not to look Gintoki’s way, the dream he had played again in his mind. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to suppress his embarrassment. “..yes,” he answered timidly.

Hearing the short response had Gintoki gaping like a goldfish.

“You.. uh.. you want _my_ baby? Like, a baby from Jr Gintoki? From my essence??,” Gintoki said, voice almost high pitched in disbelief.

Hijikata glanced his way, feeling disgusted but when his eyes fell on Gintoki, that silver head samurai was not even close to joking. He really did say it seriously. It was unbelievable, to say the least.

The raven-haired did not reply, he just watched Gintoki going over his own empty head, looking straight ahead with both hands on his mouth.

Gintoki would never.. well, he had several times said it aloud, but not all the time, just for special occasions, but like, to think, Hijikata Toushirou, the demon vice commander of the Shinsengumi, the love of his fucking life, period; considered to have a kid with someone like Gintoki?

Someone with bloodstained hands, chained by his past carrying a burden he wanted to let go, but never able to. A selfish part of Gintoki considered this, trying to suppress the horrible dread of looming darkness that threatened over his impossible fantasy, so he thought of Hijikata, how his small smile behind his palm made his heart warm, how the fondness in his eyes made it so possible to not think about those nightmares.

Gintoki was not stupid, he knew what was possible and what was truly impossible. It was just the fact that the person he was and still in love with, wanted to have a proper family with him... it was too surreal for someone with an underdeveloped brain like Gintoki.

“Wow, Hijikata-kun.. you really love me that much?? You really _like_ me that much??” he teased, grinning ear to ear.

Upon that, Hijikata immediately stood, unable to contain his utter embarrassment, more so to admit outright to Gintoki’s face.

“I’m... I’mma just get back t-to work—,” he stuttered, his ears and neck already burning. Hijikata had taken a step but Gintoki was quick to catch his wrist, holding it tightly.

“You really love me _that_ much? Really like _like like_ me that much?” Gintoki had tried not to sound too hopeful, but he just couldn’t contain it. His heart was bursting and seeing Hijikata that flustered, he knew, but he asked anyway. He couldn’t stop his smiling that his cheeks literally ached, and his eyes were wet. He didn’t quite understand it, as to why such trivial things made him feeling so high up in the clouds, though he also did not attest feeling the way he did.

Hijikata clenched his fingers, hiding his face behind his palm, yet again, not trying to pull away. Instead, he turned around and pulled Gintoki in his arms, bury his face in that soft silvery perm, inhaled the sweet sugary scent deeply, a gentle smile etched on his face as his whole body just relaxed against Gintoki.

“Yeah, I do love you _that_ much, I do like _like like_ you that much, dumbass,” he whispered with his heart so full, into Gintoki’s hair.

They stayed like that for a moment before Gintoki shifted a little so that his lips were nearer to Hijikata’s ear. “We could steal a baby,” he suggested, mischief in his words. Hijikata let go of Gintoki, frowning and rolling his eyes.

They started walking, hand in hand, not giving a care about the world around them.

“You want to add that into the long list of shady shit you’ve done? It’s illegal and I could arrest you for that, sugar freak,”

“Well, not if we registered them under your name?”

“Yeah, we adopt a child then, how about that?” Hijikata graciously helped while intertwining their fingers and hold them close.

“Besides, are you willing to register them under my name? Are you really??” continued Hijikata, bumping their shoulders lightly.

“No, of course not. Mine would be in front, Sakata-Hijikata. That rhymes too much, isn’t it? Kinda wonderful, really. Shows I am the superior dad,”

Hijikata chuckled, suddenly feeling like he was back in his dream. “Are we really talking about this right now? Don’t you think we should sit down first?”

“Yeah, well, can’t believe we’re talking this sober. We might need to sit down and have a drink if we were to continue talking about this.”

“You asshole, we are talking about this sober, you are not dreaming. I’ll have you commit seppuku if you forget about this alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanna let it out here bc it's been in my brain way too long.   
constructive criticism is greatly appreciated tho i would cry first. this is the first long ass thing ive ever written and actually posted lmao. it hurts my brain trying to write the gintama humor, i am not very funny and pretty damn stupid as a person, i'm sorry it's lacking in the humor department. idk what i'm doing really.


End file.
